


Spectacular Spectacular (this great event)

by notdeadjack (PerpetualPerversions)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Lance is a bit of a creep even though he doesn't mean to be, Light Voyeurism, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Pining, Pre-Relationship, actually not that dirty, light exhibitionism, mentioned masturbation, ode to Shiro's butt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 23:57:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13728720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerpetualPerversions/pseuds/notdeadjack
Summary: Shiro's stuff keeps turning up everywhere except where he left them. Lance may or may not have something to do with it. They're both dumbasses who should just sit down and talk before somebody gets hurt.Also the mice gets blamed for things they haven't even done.





	Spectacular Spectacular (this great event)

**Author's Note:**

> I drew a picture/ode to the glory that is Shiro's butt, and then the "fic" snippet I wrote to go with it ended up being actual fic size and as such too long to post with the picture and uuuh, here we are? I haven't written a fic in over a decade and I'd forgotten how much fun it can be :D
> 
> Shout out to xbydefault for the beta work and subsequently saving me from some truly awkward grammatical errors, you a true bro, bro.
> 
> Title from The Pitch (Spectacular Spectacular) from the Moulin Rouge OST

The first time was an accident.  

Okay, fine, not an accident like in the Oxford Dictionary approved definition of the word, Lance had definitely planned the prank, spur of the moment as it might have been. No, what was an accident, or "the unforeseen consequence of his actions" as it might be more aptly described as, was the effect it would end up having on Lance himself. 

See, what happened was this: It was after practice, they had just finished their training session and were in the middle of changing out of their armour (well, Lance and Shiro were changing, Pidge and Hunk were deeply engaged in some kind of tech discussion in their end of the room, and Keith had stalked off for yet more training as soon as Allura had let them off. Lance theorised that Sweaty and Gross was just Keith's preferred state of being). Then, Shiro had left the room to go get something he'd forgotten in the training room and he just... Left his bayard lying there, on the bench, completely unattended! And as anyone who has grown up with siblings can attest to, you can't just let such a prime opportunity go to waste. So, without really thinking, Lance had snatched up the black bayard and stuck it on the highest shelf he could reach. Hah! That would minorly inconvenience their illustrious leader! Sure, it wasn't the most clever or intricate prank to have been put in motion, but Lance did what he could with the time he had, okay? As it was, he barely managed to get back to his side of the changing room before Shiro wandered back in. 

Lance slowly unclasped his own armor as he watched Shiro sit down to remove his leg protection, glancing casually out of the corner of his eye so that he wouldn't be caught looking, waiting for him to notice that something was amiss. And when he did, oh it was glorious! Shiro had the most perfect expression of confusion on his face when he reached for his weapon and found that it wasn't where he thought he'd left it. He checked the other side of the bench, then on the floor, and then leaned over and looked underneath his seat! Lance actually had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing out loud when Shiro actually got up and performed two complete I-am-desperately-looking-for-something pirouettes. 

When going over the whole scenario in his head later, Lance would realise that that was the exact moment when everything started to go sideways, because when Shiro finally spotted his bayard up on that high shelf, his entire face lit up and it was like when the sun comes out after a rain and everything glitters all fairytale like and  _uugh_ , that sounded so cheesy but that's what it looked like!  

And then, oh boy,  _and then_  everything went from bad to worse, because [Shiro had to stretch his entire body to reach](http://notdeadjack.tumblr.com/post/171030164088/the-first-time-was-an-accident-okay-fine-not) _aaand_  that's a lot of muscles suddenly on display. Lance could see every muscle group on Shiro's body clearly defined underneath the clingy thermal suit that goes under their armor, and when Shiro went up on his tippy toes to get that extra inch and his shirt rode up to show off that tantalising strip of skin at the hips? Lance felt his mouth go dry.  

It really didn't help that that flash of skin formed a triangle that, with a little imagination, made an arrow that lead the eyes directly to Shiro's butt. Which, even in the dreariest of times could be counted upon to be  _spectacular_ , was on that particular day, with the post-work out buffness and the strain of the pose, Spectacular Spectacular, no words in the vernacular! And Lance was definitely dumb with wonderment. 

  

Shiro had finally managed to get a grip around the edge of his bayard and let out a triumphant noise, which jerked Lance attention back to reality from its impromptu vacation to El Paraíso Del Butt and he had to turn away when Shiro had dropped back on his heels because he'd looked so incredibly pleased with himself and Lance just wasn't in anyway prepared for the way that made him feel. 

 

- 

So that was what started the whole thing. The  _thing_  being Shiro suddenly finding his stuff placed very high up or even far down (after a completely unrelated incident revealed that Shiro was a "bend at the waist" rather than a "squat down" kind of person when it came to picking stuff up off the floor). 

Lance felt like such a  _creep_ ; he knew what he was doing was questionable at the very best. He just wanted to touch Shiro so bad. He wanted to run his fingers over every inch of skin, to see how much of those glorious pectorals he could fit in his hands, to pinch those powerful thighs. And most of all, he desperately wanted to  _bite_  Shiro's  _butt_. Lance couldn't decide if it would be more likely to be soft and squishy, or firm and bouncy, and he really wanted to find out with his  _teeth_. 

It didn't help that everything in the castle somehow ended up leading Lance's thoughts towards Shiro. Mostly due to Lance's own actions, admittedly. There's the pipe Lance tossed one of Shiro's fingerless gloves on top off. That spoon over there looks exactly like the spoon Shiro was using that  _accidentally_ ended up clattering to the floor when Shiro was distracted talking to Coran during dinner. Over there is the computer terminal looking space tech thing that Shiro's stupid looking fanny pack somehow ended up on top of, that Shiro actually ended up having to climb to reach and wasn't that a great day indeed? 

Lance figures the absolute low point is reached the day when he's in the bathroom and he finds himself contemplating if the Altean answer to bathroom tiles (the science-y architectural equivalent to latex covered memory foam, apparently) feels in anyway similar to how Shiro's butt would feel if Lance ever ended up somehow touching it with his feet and that leads to a furious and embarrassingly quick jerk off session in the shower that leaves Lance feeling so mortified that he goes directly to bed and tries to suffocate himself with the pillow afterwards. 

Somehow, it's not the intense attraction Lance feels towards Shiro's body, or the lengths he goes for the chance to ogle it, that makes Lance certain that if rebirth is a thing, his soul will end up reborn in a lowly worm or some type of slime mold. It's the way he grows to crave  _everything_ about Shiro.  

He wants Shiro to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up and the last thing he sees before falling asleep. He wants to have long conversations with him about everything and nothing at all and share silences that lasts for hours yet feels like coming home. He wants to have front row seats to that little disappointed pout on Shiro's lips when something doesn't go the way he'd hoped (it happened once, when they were strolling through a marketplace, eating space ice-cream and Shiro ended up dropping his on the ground and he'd looked so sad that Lance had pushed his own cone into Shiro's hands before hightailing it out of there because he just couldn't handle Shiro looking so painfully  _cute_ ).  

He wants to be the reason Shiro laughs and the shoulder he cries on when he needs comfort and somehow,  _that_? Feels like the biggest transgression of all. He doesn't deserve Shiro. Shiro is way too good for him, miles out of his league and not just in a physical sense. He is an amazing, kind and brave person with delightfully a lame sense of humour and Lance is the creep who hides his things just to stare at his butt when he struggles to retrieve them. 

It will never happen, and Lance knows he's a fool for even dreaming of it. 

 

- 

Shiro realises something is going on after the fifth time something of his ends up not being where he left it. At first, there's a heart stopping moment when he thinks he's losing time but then he comes to the conclusion that there's just no way he'd ever put one of his gloves at the very top of a door arch, not even if he went on a full on black out, evil galra brainwash state. There was just no logic to it! 

He asks the other paladins during lunch a while later, if they've been misplacing their things too. But Keith just shrugs, Lance is busy stuffing his face with food goo at an alarming pace while Hunk is giving him a Look, and Pidge offers up a, "Not that I've noticed. Maybe the mice are pranking you or something?" And yeah, that  _does_  sound like something they would do. 

But then a few days later, Shiro's left boot turns up on top of a bookcase and there's just _no way_  the mice could get that thing up there in the few minutes Shiro wasn't looking. There were no conveniently placed vents anywhere near it, and as far as Shiro knows, not even the Alteans had managed to come up with mice sized hoover technology. 

It's a while after that that Hunk approaches Shiro, having noticed his mounting frustration at his disappearing belongings, and says, "You know it's Lance who is doing this, right?" And it's like a lightbulb going off in his head. Or, well, a lightbulb with dimmer setting cause while Shiro can definitely see Lance doing something like this, he has no clue as of why. One or two times could definitely be attributed to Lance's penchant for acting like the annoying brother who takes great pleasure in messing with his siblings, but this was just plain excessive, even for him. 

So Shiro starts to really pay attention to what's going on around him when one of his things end up missing. He finds that Lance is always somewhere behind or to the side of him, he is always there but he never really does anything. He never looks gleeful, or even amused. He doesn't even seem to be watching really, he's always busy doing something else when Shiro turns back around. But now that he's aware of it, Shiro can  _feel_  him looking. He can feel Lance's eyes on him whenever he reaches for something of his placed in an inconvenient location. And that sends a surprising thrill coursing through Shiro's body.  

And then there's the other little things that Lance do for him, completely unprompted. The way he hands him his morning cup of space coffee, prepared just the way he likes it, the moment Shiro sits down at the table every morning. How Lance always seem to know when Shiro is uncomfortable and he does whatever he can to help. And he makes these little jokes and when Shiro laughs at them he positively beams, and-  _ooh_...!  _That's_ why.  

He comes to the conclusion that he likes it. He  _likes_  having Lance's attention. And he kind of really want to give Lance that kind of attention in return.  

So Shiro doesn't say anything, doesn't call him out or put an end to the whole thing.  

And maybe, just maybe, he takes a little extra time to retrieve his stuff. And if he puts on a bit of a show doing so, there's no one who will actually complain about it, is there? 

**Author's Note:**

> (actually, Shiro, everyone else in the castle knows exactly what's going on, they have eyes, and if they have to see you do the bend and snap one more time things might start flying)
> 
> Lance is sure that if his life had a soundtrack his theme song would be The Creep by Lonely Island.
> 
> But tbh it's probably Bad Things by Jace Everett. At least when it comes to Shiro.
> 
> and that might just be Shiro's favourite song who knows?


End file.
